Paul Francis Photography

-We love marriage just as much as we love weddings. Take a moment to prepare not just for the wedding, but for the marriage-

When we were engaged, the advice we were given was to “Divide and conquer” the everyday things of life. Mowing the lawn, folding laundry, making dinner, all that everyday and not-so-glamorous-but-still-needs-to-get-done stuff. We divide our chores, choose our domains, and then everything is taken care of. It was good advice, and we follow it. Sometimes a need will arise and I’ll find myself saying “that’s your job” or “that’s not my area“. And it’s true, but not very loving. Yes, it is important and good to divide up tasks and for us both to contribute to our home together. But that does not mean that we cannot help our beloved with their chores. How sweet is it when you walk up to the sink ready to get your hands dirty when alas! it is all done already! Woohoo! I have a little party to my myself for a minute. It is so sweet. A good friend who has been married longer than us recently said to me that they each have their own chores but they make a point to cross over into the others at times. When I heard this I realized that often when I say “that’s your job”  I’m really just pushing something off onto Paul because I know he will do it and I don’t want to. I can’t imagine Paul feels like having a little party to rejoice when I say that. And to be honest, neither do I. I do feel a sense of relief that I do not have to do something, but deep down I feel the sting of selfishness, and that really does not feel good. So I’ve been making an effort to follow in my friend’s footsteps and not only change my heart of selfishness but to cross over into Paul’s domain. So I took out the garbage, the recycling, even the garbage from the baby’s diaper pail, blah! I loathe every minute of it, every time. But as I remind myself that I am doing this out of love, that Paul may feel the sweetness of surprisingly finding his chore already complete, I know I’m allowing marriage to do it’s job – to make me a better person.

*Carolyn

ps. I took this picture of Paul when I was pregnant with our little Leo. Paul is so hardworking and loving, I already knew that he would be a diaper champ.

pps. Only one more day left of voting for the 2011 Photo Contest! Remember all votes must be in by midnight on Tuesday, January 17th (that’s tomorrow!). The competition is so close!!! For more details click here.