Take time to just be

I came home yesterday with all sorts of big plans on what I wanted to get done. I intended on editing several sets of pictures from sessions we had this past weekend, then cut the grass, and get ready to do an oil change on both of our cars. But my wife was not feeling too well and I ended up giving her a back rub and just spending time with her. I ended up doing none of the above plans. And you know what? I am fine with that. Which is good for me. Because it is so hard for me. You see, I am a doer. I always have something to do, something to work on. It is hard for me to simply be. I constantly approach my day with a list of what I feel I must accomplish.

Carolyn loves time when we just do nothing together. You see, I learned a few years ago about how everyone communicates love in different ways and if two people communicate love in different ways, it can cause us to miss how other people are communicating that they love us. I feel like I am doing a good job serving my wife by cleaning and taking care of the house, but most times she would prefer if I just sat down and talked to her. There is a wonderful book about this called The Five Love Languages. It lists five types ways that people show love (I am paraphrasing):

Gift Giving
Acts of Service
Affection of Physical Touch
Words of affirmation or Encouragement
Quality Time

Carolyn’s love language is quality time. She loves when I set aside my work and just talk to her about everything and nothing and this is a challenge for someone like me who always feels like I have something to do. Sometimes we will be having a conversation in the same room that there happens to be sitting a basket of laundry and I will find myself starting to fold just to keep my hands moving! You think she would love this from her husband but what she really wants at that moment is for me to just be with her. I try to remind myself, that the work I have can often wait a little, but making time for our relationship is one of the most important things in our life. If I am not investing in us, then investing in our business is pointless.

So we ended up reminiscing about our early dates, and thinking about what the world will be like for our future children. We remembered silly videos we shared with one another on Youtube and laughed imagining that someday the children we have will think we were crazy to find them amusing. It was awesome. It was just what we needed.

What is your love language? What is your significant others?