-We love marriage just as much as we love weddings. Take a moment to prepare not just for the wedding, but for the marriage-
Sometimes we seem so different. He likes action movies, I like comedies. He prefers beer, I prefer pina coladas. His perfect date is hiking, mine is dancing. Sometimes I wonder how in the world did we end up together? Of course, I know: true friendship, shared values, shared life-vision (that will be a future post so stay tuned), commitment to mutual love and fidelity. But in the day-to-day stuff of life we tend to over look those big picture concepts and notice the small differences that can create friction. And then dwell on them, forgetting the big stuff that brought us together in the first place. Though this post is not really about those big things, this post is about embracing those differences because finally after 3 years of marriage I’m starting to realize that they can be good for us.
During our engagement, I heard married couples say how they “balance each other out” and I wondered if Paul and I did that for one another. I even worried about it. I really did not see it at the time, probably because we did not have many conflicts! Though, as our relationship progresses and we encounter more challenges to overcome together I see this so much more. At first, it just looks like a disagreement. Like one of those how did we end up together? moments. Then as we work through it, praying for patience and understanding, I start to see that there is something unique and special about the two of us together. We balance each other out. Our differences force us to be open to new ideas, to look at the why behind our feelings. It opens us to change, and that love we have for one another makes it possible. I have seen this with big important decisions and simple not so important things like, deciding if we should take the night off or finish our work. Because Paul’s super hard-workingness causes him to work tirelessly and my non-stop Saturday night fever keeps me from getting work done. We used to argue about it, but now that we know this about ourselves we more quickly can realize if we need to encourage the other or compromise. So our differences become a blessing (albeit in disguise) to our marriage and to us as individuals. Through them we see that we’re not perfect, but we’re perfect for each other. They give us opportunities to be open and balance each other out. So embrace those differences, like the exceptional couple that you are.
*Carolyn
ps. Go Giants! I’m not even into sports, and I thought it was good game!
