-We love marriage just as much as we love weddings. Take a moment to prepare not just for the wedding, but for the marriage-
Keeping the peace is always a priority for me. It’s just my personality – if there’s a conflict I want to resolve it ASAP. I want to figure out what each of us did wrong, apologize, kiss and make up and act like nothing ever happened. So my inclination is to agree with the phrase I often hear to “never go to bed angry”. However, my wonderful husband does not bounce back as quickly as I do, he needs a little more time. My sister-in-law once told me she did not agree with that phrase “never go to bed angry” which I held to be so true. She told me she felt that sometimes it was good to get a good night’s rest before finishing a disagreement. I thought that may work for her, but not for me. Then again I did marry her brother…So Paul and I had a tift. And of course it happened late at night. No one is at their best at the end of the day. We were running around in circles, not solving anything and becoming frustrated. Paul told me we gotta go to bed, we’ll talk tomorrow. Aggh, I thought this is not what I want, I just want to get it smoothed over and move on. I hate going to bed without a resolution. But the next day as I took time to reflect and digest what happened the night before I reluctantly came to the realization that Paul was right. Not that he was right about what we were discussing (I do not remember who won that one, and honestly it is not important), but he was right about needing to wait. When we find ourselves in a situation where we are no longer handling the disagreement appropriately, taking a break, cooling off, and reflecting is like magic for me. I find peace and just see things clearly. I am able to go back to Paul and approach him with humility, honesty and love. That makes a BIG difference. So while we always make sure to affirm our love for each other before turning in for the night, I do agree with taking a step back, even if it does mean I have to “go to bed angry”.
*Carolyn
