-We love marriage just as much as we love weddings. Take a moment to prepare not just for the wedding, but for the marriage –
It has been over a year since we started writing “Monday Marriage Moments” and I went back today to read the first one I wrote in September 2011, entitled “Advancing His/Her Preferences” and I felt like I was really writing it for myself, I really needed the reminder! So I am sharing this post again with you today, but with a new title “How to Get Back That Lovin’ Feelin'”
Click HERE to go the original post. Or you can simply read it below:
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Paul said he wanted to relax and watch a movie and asked, “What do you want to watch?” Paul jokes that I only like movies that end with rainbows and puppy dogs – which is not true. But really, is there anything wrong with liking happy movies? I didn’t think so. So I’d normally say a romantic comedy, but rather than offer another movie like What Women Want, I said “Whatever you want.” You have to understand, I don’t usually say this. And its not because I’m a selfish control freak… well maybe a little. But really Paul’s taste in movies is very different from mine. I lean towards romantic comedies, while Paul leans towards historical war movies. So while I want to watch Sleepless in Seattle, he wants to watch Band of Brothers. We do enjoy each other’s movies at times, but it’s definitely a sacrifice.
Paul, being the wonderful husband that he is, tried to pick a movie that, while not being my style, I would still enjoy. (I also really love movies that are complex and interesting, but I’m almost never in the mood for those because I usually watch movies when I want to relax and not think.) Paul picked out The Count of Monte Cristo, and refused to tell me anything about it except that it starred Jim Caviezel. I had a hard time getting into it at first, but I have to admit I LOVED it. I loved it so much that I’m writing about this today, weeks after this actually happened.
To get to my point, I didn’t let Paul pick so that I would be surprised by a great movie, I let him pick because I wanted to do something for him. Rather than pick what I want, again. I bit my lip and said “whatever you want”. It was an act of kindness. A gesture of love. A sacrifice for my husband. I may sound a bit dramatic, but sometimes the smallest of sacrifices are the most difficult. If someone asked you to jump in front of a car to save your fiance(e)’s life, would you do it? Of course, in a heartbeat. If your fiance(e) asked you to watch a guy or girly movie on your night off, would you do it? Maybe not as easily. But these are the little things that let your other half know “I love you”. I believe that continuing to advance the other’s preferences helps our marriage immensely. When Paul lets me have the last bite of his ice cream cone, orders out a meal so I don’t have to cook, or advances my preferences in some way, I feel loved. I feel like we’re dating again. I feel like he doesn’t just love me, but he likes me. And that’s important to me in marriage.
How have you advanced your significant other’s preferences? We would love to hear suggestions from you.
*Carolyn
