-We love marriage just as much as we love weddings. Take a moment to prepare not just for the wedding, but for the marriage-
Last week we were hanging out on the couch while I was making mental to-do lists, identifying all the chores that needed to be done in order of importance, and labeling which of us would do which job. Paul interrupted by taking a moment to spend time together by giving me a hug and a kiss (which I usually love because my love languages are affection and quality time) but I stopped him. I was doing something – making important mental notes. I brushed him off because it was not the right time for that, we could be affectionate and have couple time later – after the chores were done and my mind was not cluttered with all of my urgent things to do. Paul did not like that. I could not understand what the problem was, a time for everything and everything at its time. If I got my stuff done then my mind would be free and I could be more fully present and enjoy our time together, right? Well, that’s what I thought.
Later that day I took some time to reflect on the past year, where we were then and where we are now. I thought about how our son was just a new born baby. How we did not do anything but focus on our family. We did not worry about chores, or being anywhere on time. We just stayed home all day and focused on adapting to our new life, on those things that are most important. Even though it was a crazy time of adjustment, there was a great sense of peace because we made our family a priority over dishes, friends, everything. I’d like to have that peace everyday, not just when we have a new baby. I’d like love to be a priority all the time. Then, LIGHTBULB! This is exactly what Paul was trying to do earlier in the day. He knew there were chores to be done, but he also knows our marriage is more important and wanted to take out just a few minutes to show me how he loves me. He was putting the to-do list aside for a short time to make love a priority. Because while love, our marriage, our relationship, is not an urgent item on our to do list, it is really the most important item on our to do list. Yes, I feel a sense of uneasiness when the house is a mess, but it is nothing compared to the uneasiness I would feel if Paul and I were not connecting. If I wanted to have the peace that comes with putting love first, I should have gone against my type-A personality tendencies in that moment. Consider the more important things of life as a priority over my so called urgent things to do. As you may have guessed, I went back to Paul. I apologized and I thanked him for making our relationship a priority, “because the most important things in life are hardly ever urgent” (quote by Matthew Kelly)
*Carolyn
p.s. What do you think? Scroll down to the comment box and let us know.
To see more pictures from Emily & Noah’s engagement session, click here.
