-We love marriage just as much as we love weddings. Take a moment to prepare not just for the wedding, but for the marriage-
Today we have a guest post from Sesame Street, who shares with us what marriage is about…
-We love marriage just as much as we love weddings. Take a moment to prepare not just for the wedding, but for the marriage-
“Never stop dating” is one of those great marriage tips I heard when we were engaged. As a matter of fact, it was offered to us as an engaged couple. Because wedding planning is a lot of work, while it is fun, it also can be all consuming. When Paul and I were engaged, it seemed like every time we were together we were doing something for the wedding. Paul’s good friend who had been married for a few years gave him this advice not just for after the wedding but for before too: to make sure that we spent time together without wedding planning. So we did. We tried to balance our time spent together between wedding planning and dates. One great way that we did this was when we set up meetings with vendors, we would go out on a date immediately before or after the meeting. This was not only great because we ensured we were having non-wedding talk, but also because our vendors were not all in our neighborhood so we got to do some exploring. And one of the things Paul and I love to do together is to find new romantic restaurants, places to walk around, and take pictures (of course!) So this was a great opportunity for us to do just that without letting the wedding to-do get too piled up. It was a huge blessing to our relationship and marriage, and one of the ways we chose to invest in and prepare for our marriage.
We took these photos during our engagement on one of theses dates. We went to Paterson Great Falls in Paterson, NJ after we met with our DJ.
Circa 2007.
Now we still take this advice and make sure that we have date nights without talking about “business ” (which does not just mean photography business, but also things like bills, chores, schedules, etc.) –Instead we talk about funny things our son does, the way God is working in our hearts, hopes and dreams for the future, and just joke around and do fun things together. – – We still have meetings and still need time to do work together so while our son is still with loving caregivers we take the opportunity to go out for a date after our time spent working on “wedding planning ” (now for others instead of ourselves!) and it is essentially the same thing – continually dating each other. Life gets busy, heck, life is busy and will be for a long time. So don’t let to-do lists get in the way of the most important relationship in your life. Ferris knows what I’m talking about…
*Carolyn
-We love marriage just as much as we love weddings. Take a moment to prepare not just for the wedding, but for the marriage-
Have you seen this YouTube video (below) that went viral? It’s no surprise that people want to watch a laughing baby, its like contagious happiness. And that same contagious happiness is such a gift in marriage. As I mentioned in a previous MMM post, according to Drs. Les and Leslie Parrot having fun together is one of the best ways to build passion. And I think laughing together is the best – watching our favorite comedian, Brian Regan, watching our son be silly or laughing at ourselves. I can often get super silly, make a fool of myself, and crack myself up, enjoying every minute of it. Other times I need a little help remembering not to take myself too seriously and Paul is great at reminding me. Paul recognizes those moments when I need a little comic relief and knows just what to say to lighten my spirit. It’s awesome, and its one of the things I love about him. Even though, I have to admit my initial response is usually Hey, I’m being serious here. No laughing! but it does not take long to give in to laughter and fun. I’m also impressed by seeing how other couples laugh together. When they tell stories about an argument and they are able to look back in hindsight and just laugh because they easily forgive, move on, and enjoy the silliness of life. Laughter and general happiness is contagious, so go spread it around- especially to your mate!
*Carolyn
-We love marriage just as much as we love weddings. Take a moment to prepare not just for the wedding, but for the marriage-
One of the pages I have bookmarked in my copy of Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrot has the heading “Cultivate Passion”. Passion is one of those misunderstood concepts that everyone has a different definition for, but we really believe it is simply an intense (positive) emotion towards each other that can easily be re-boosted when we reconnect. In their book the doctors say that in order to have romance and passion, you need to not just feel attractive but special. So how do we do that? They beautifully discuss each of the following topics, but since I am a type-A personality, I prefer bullet points and lists. Here are their awesome tips:
1. Affection
Affection aids in romantic feelings. Little things like touching his/her back or arm as you pass by, giving a random kiss or hug, holding hands, and of course, cuddling!
2. Positive Experiences
Associating each other with positive experiences we have together is always a good thing. Dating, having fun, going out to dinner, taking walks, going on vacation, ice skating, watching movies, whatever it is you enjoy together.
3. Give Compliments Everyday
Who doesn’t love a compliment? Compliments make us feel special. Anything from “That shirt looks nice on you” to “You are an incredible man/woman and I am so blessed to share my life with you.”
It is SO great to have a list of ideas like this to come back. Even though Paul and I actually did do this stuff before reading it, we do not always remember to do it as often as we would like to. So I love being able to refer back and remind myself of these super simple, easy to implement, and can-start-doing-right-now passion boosters.
*Carolyn
ps. Here is a photo we took of ourselves from one of our first dates at Hacklebarney Park in Chester, NJ
August 9, 2012 - 8:31 am
[…] it up and do something different. In fact, I believe that changing things up is one of the ways to inspire passion, if not just for the variety, because it moved us to do each of the 3 steps written in that […]
-We love marriage just as much as we love weddings. Take a moment to prepare not just for the wedding, but for the marriage-
One of my new favorite love songs is “Love is Not a Fight” by Warren Barfield. The music is beautiful and the lyrics have a message of steadfast love. I hope you like it as much as we do, enjoy!
*Carolyn